May 2026 Joke Round-Up

  Perhaps at some point years from now I will print out the years and years of these joke round-ups that I have done and bind them into a proper book that may be placed into a vault so that one day, generations from now long after we’ve destroyed ourselves my silly little fart jokes will serve as a great archeological and sociological find, offering a peek into what life was like “in the before times.”  This will be my legacy.

5/2

What if you stuffed one of those long, multi-colored clown handkerchiefs up your butt before a prostate exam? That would be a fun surprise for the doctor. 

5/4

My brain trying to come up with a punny team name for a golf outing: "Okay, golf-related words. Fore is definitely a golf term. And sometimes people play for money and call it Skins....nope, just gonna stop right there." 

5/9

Somehow my son asking if he could buy Robux turned into me telling him about the game Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball. 

5/23

I subscribe to the advice "never stop dating your wife" but more specifically that part of dating after you've already farted in front of each other. 

5/28

I feel like everything in life got worse when Nintendo stopped making products in that translucent Atomic Purple casing. 

5/28

When the blanket is just a little too warm so you gotta kick your leg out to regulate your temperature. 

5/29

BREAKING: Kevin and The Zits announce they are pulling out of the Freedom 250 concert. 

Yep, this will be my legacy.

-Ryan

April 2026 Joke Round-Up

  I barely wrote anything that even remotely qualified as a joke once again this month.  And let’s be real here, nobody is going to read this shit anyways.

4/2

My greatest fear in life might be ingrown toenails. 

4/3

At this point I think my kids just load the dishwasher wrong out of spite. 

4/14

Vice City for life.

4/24

I am easily one of the highest ranked Dr. Mario players in this family.

Maybe next month I’ll suck less. Not fucking likely, but we can always hope.

-Ryan

March 2026 Joke Round-Up

  Well, March was certainly a month that was had.  By my official count I produced 2 jokes this month. Both on the same day.  That second one, though, that thing has layers to it. It’s simultaneously a bit of dark humor as well as a condemnation of the economic and political systems we are living in. Take that, The Man! (as in like “the man keeping us down,” not Becky Lynch). Okay I think I have already put more into this intro paragraph than I did any writing this past month. So in fairness to myself let’s look at this embarrassingly meager serving of jokes.

3/27

Look, I am not a weatherman.  I took a single semester meteorology class back in like 2010.  But Spectrum's service update seems sus.

3/27

My wife and I use this app to play couples games and share cute messages like this.

I’m gonna go play some Pokemon.

-Ryan